A man's dog died and he went to the priest and asked him to conduct a funeral Mass.
"Oh no!" says the priest. "We don't have masses for dogs!"
So he goes down the street to the Lutheran church and asks the pastor there.
"I'm so sorry!" says the Lutheran. "But I can't help you out there."
So the man makes an appointment with the Presbyterian minister.
"My dog died, and I'm looking for a church where I can have a nice funeral for him."
The Presbyterian minister hesitated, trying to find the most gentle way to turn the man down.
As he paused, the man went on, "I'm going to donate $1000 dollars to the church that has the service."
The minister breaks into a grin, "Well! Why didn't you tell me the dog was Presbyterian?!"
Dogs, religion and MONEY! A trifecta of funniness.